In memory of Sharon Kurns

Today, I found myself thinking what it means to dedicate some thought or action to something or someone. Despite their infinitesimally small value in the face of the circumstances, my thoughts were soon to be dedicated to the memory of Sharon Kurns, a friend who died this week. She struggled with kidney cancer for two months, and her death came quickly, mercifully it seems.

Her husband Dave and I have been friends and worked together for nearly 20 years. I don’t know how he’s handling this brutal fate. I wonder if he isn’t carrying some strength from Sharon.

I wish I would have known Sharon better. She offered something special to the world, her own kind of grace and language. She was soft-spoken; one wanted to heed her every word.

Once she thanked me for a favor I did for Dave and her. I was honored to do it, but her words made me re-gauge the value of measured, honest language.

The last time I saw Sharon, Sandy and I were having dinner with Dave and her at a noisy restaurant. The clamor was so bad we could barely hear each other speak. I strained the whole time with my impaired hearing to tune in her comments. When Sharon spoke, I knew it would be something I’d want to hear.

But the evening had been redeemed even before we tried converse. There was a moment just before Sharon arrived separately. The three of us were seated, and Dave made a comment to the waiter that he’d recognize Sharon right away by how lovely she was. And when she sat down a look passed between Dave and her.

I’ll miss seeing that wordless thing that she and Dave had between themselves. And I’ll miss her quiet, wise words.